Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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