You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
