is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
