Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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