bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize