You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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