this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.