Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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(313): remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck. http://tfl.nu/0g1v

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(760): View more from California

Man, ugly runs in her family

(619): View more from California

yeah, big time

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(760): Man, ugly runs in her family (619): yeah, big time http://tfl.nu/1vgn

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(310): View more from California

Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies

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(310): Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies http://tfl.nu/s7p4

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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(334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet. http://tfl.nu/qfk7

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(954): View more from Florida

God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

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(954): God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through. http://tfl.nu/ylm6

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(214): View more from Texas

bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

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(214): bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in. http://tfl.nu/k2ap

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(817): View more from Texas

I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.

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(817): I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar. http://tfl.nu/lubl

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

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(402): Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business. http://tfl.nu/965c

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(615): View more from Tennessee

After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.

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(615): After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland. http://tfl.nu/h2ls

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(501): View more from Arkansas

gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

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(501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.

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(814): My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order. http://tfl.nu/pxpo

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(650): View more from California

My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.

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(650): My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings. http://tfl.nu/futo

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(240): View more from Maryland

Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.

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(240): Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood. http://tfl.nu/tqto

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.

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(570): A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5. http://tfl.nu/uyai

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break

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(248): Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break http://tfl.nu/smjb

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