dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
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You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.