we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one