HIV tests are more positive than that guy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
