I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
