thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize