Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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