I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
