I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize