no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
