Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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