I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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