its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
