Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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