it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
