Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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