Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
