He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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