all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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