Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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