i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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