Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
