38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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