Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
