i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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