Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
