And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
