i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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