Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
worst night to have a conscience
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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