Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize