The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
