I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How external is "for external use only"?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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