i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
