Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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