tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
