"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize