I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?