Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
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I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex