yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
