You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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