Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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