well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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