He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
