we're blogging at a bar
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I still have a little drunk in my system
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
