The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
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