are you still at the devil's house?
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
