He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize