Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You were trust falling into bushes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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