Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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