as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
