I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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