**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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