I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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