Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize